O woe is me! O, woe! It has been heard via the tangled and various grape vines surrounding, incorporating and notwithstandingly excluding Ulan Bator, albeit westwardly, that Joe Frankenheimer may or may not have cut himself shaving.
This may not seem such terrible news to those idiotic new recruits that I rue the day I ever accepted into our illustrious organisation (you know who you are) but this means that Joe was shaving! He must therefore be in all syllogisticalamiticklish likelihood be entering once more the petrific hell known as Easter Island in order to counter act the multifarious malign manifestations of our archenemy and scourge of all buttresses unable to esconce themselves in the lofty heights of the biosphere known to all who know of them as
BARBED RUBY.
This virus is attcking the very core of Frankenheimer operations, and through means as yet unknown or vestigated has caused Frankenheimer's lustrous, legubrious and lice-ridden face furniture to itch him terribly. Particularly on Thursdays and the days both preceding and antecedent this day, as well as the days following and afterward this horrible pognoplague curses Frankenheimer with such unpleasantness that he went without contacting me for quite some time. Let us hope Joe does not end up like those poor swine that went there so many years ago, only to evolve a peculiarly utility-specific new type of beak, then to be killed and preserved by some freakish pseudo-scientist of the so-called 'Victorian' age. Again, beards beards and beards. the world runs on the foul things, and if it doesn't, it must only be because of the sterling work of some undisclosed corner, ebb and subsidiary closet of the magnificent Cognoscenti. What the Dickens is going on?
It is Valentine's Day, and the whole Cognoscenti mourns again the loss of Jim Branning Snr. in the woeful February of 1943. It was in the early days of postal terrorism, and the guileless appearance of a love note cost Branning his cardial rhythm and subsequently the use of his legs. May we all join together in a moment of alert silence...................................................................................................................................................................................................... Thank you.
It would seem that news of Frankenheimer's current activities is thin on the ground. This is most likely due to the time of year. It is well understood that Joe Frankenheimer prefers to enjoy February alone, preparing his spring manifesto. I, on the other hand, have been much more publicly active. I recently visited our friends in Sebastapol.
It would seem that despite this updates log only coming into existence in the last few days, that already it has been infiltrated by an enemy of the cause. Thankfully it seems that the offending party has only been able to post a short message. Let it be known that should the Countenance Frankenheimerian be so revealed, such parties would no longer infiltrate our group, but join us willingly. Let this attempt serve as a reminder that there are forces at work in our great world that seek to undermine and [REMOVED].
Operative JJ72 'Mary', see codename handbook, has reported in to me that the Albany sighting is nothing but a vicious, malignant and vile hoax. Please ignore. OJJ72 also reports that Frankenheimer is apparently at large in the Midget Convention of the Americas, posing as Jean-Luc Tiberius Frakes, a hotly tipped contender for the coveted 'King of Dwarves' award. Devotees and Votees alike are reminded that last time the Cognoscenti battled the amalgamated little people twenty-three of our number and untold swathes of the upwardly immobile enemy were calamitously eviscerated at Superbowl XXIII. Please ignore.
The most recent reports from Cognoscenti operatives deep in sub-saharan Albany have recently forwarded me some very worrying news regarding the more recent political involvements of Frankenheimer. It would seem that he has been spotted wearing a great coat and a battered fedora. In itself, this would be no cause for alarm. However, the inclusion of an ostrich feather would suggest that something more sinister is at work.
It has been said that Joe Frankenheimer is the founder of the modern world as we know it. It has also been said that he invented the Raspberry Whirl. These and many other examples show how difficult a man Joe Frankenheimer is to know; his life is a mystery, his existence ambiguous. Whatever your beliefs however, one must realise that Joe Frankenheimer has been an inspiration to many who have joined our cause.
This new web site is intended to provide an up-to-date record of my contacts and information about the great Joe Frankenheimer.